‘Comparison is the death of joy’ – Mark Twain
Do you find yourself comparing the things that you have to other people’s possessions? Do you envy your work-mates new car? Wish your partner was as beautiful? Wish you were more intelligent?
Comparison only brings unhappiness. I grew up in a very dysfunctional family and as a teen I would constantly wish I had a normal family, like my friends did (or at least that’s what I thought, at the time). Only as I have grown up have I realised that I learnt invaluable lessons from my family. I now naturally take the rough with the smooth and realise that everyone’s situation is completely different. The things that work for one family, or bring one family closer together, may well push another family to its limits and break them apart.
Now that I accept who I am, where I came from and that my situation was no weirder than anyone else’s, I am much happier. So, how can you start accepting and stop comparing your life to other people’s?
Know who you are
Do you know what you REALLY want? What REALLY makes you happy?
Be certain of your morals and values
Everybody needs morals and values, without them our sense of right and wrong can become really skewed. Try writing a list of the things that you value most in life, keep writing and writing until you feel a wave of emotion, you have hit your deepest values. These are the things in life that are unlikely to change. Live by these values and happiness will follow.
No two people are the same
We’re all made from the same stuff, but we’re totally different. Become aware of that.
After all, what’s the point in this life if we are not striving to be the most awesome version of ourselves that we can? Struggling to figure out your purpose, check out this excellent blog post on finding your inner self by Celestine Chua
Design Your Perfect Life
Design your perfect life and work backwards, setting goals so that you can achieve the things that YOU really want. Not the things that society convinces you you should have. Worried that your perfect life is just to big to achieve? Take a look at How To Overcome Fear and Pursue Your Dreams
Enjoy being yourself
Struggling to get rid of that nagging voice in your head that draws comparisons? Compare the new you, with the old you. Cast your mind back a year. Where have you been? What have you done? What were your happiest moments?
Look a year into the future. Where do you want to be? What do you want to be doing? Who do you want it to be with?